


We're all too small to talk to God

by Drivelikewego



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Jealous!Raphael, M/M, Pining, Soulmate AU, Very little angst tbh, babies in love, kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-23 08:43:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9648482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drivelikewego/pseuds/Drivelikewego
Summary: Soulmate Au: Where you get a mark in a specific part of your body and your soulmate has the same one in the same place, The mark is grey until your soulmate touches it.Simon had pushed the thoughts of soulmates as soon as he realised he was in love with Clary. Raphael stopped believing in soulmates when he got turned, knowing his soulmate would never accept the monster that he was.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing on the platform so I hope it doesn't suck(pun intended). Also I didn't have a beta so if there's anything wrong feel free to point it out :). 
> 
> Also the title is a P!ATD reference <3

Simon Lewis lived his whole life staring at the grey coloured mark on his chest, trying to will it to point to the direction of his soulmate. The mark was in the shape of a half circle, It didn't look like anything special but supposedly each mark had its shape for a reason. When Simon was bored he would draw things in and around the mark, wondering if his soulmate could feel it.It was known that the marks were always halves of something, only to be completed by the person who would complete you. 

 

Soon after Simon met Clary, He was convinced she was his soulmate. Until one day when they were eight years old and playing in the community pool did he notice a grey wing on her thigh. He went home to find out if there was a way that the marks could be wrong, could have a loophole around it. Simon's mom explained to him that night after finding him curled up balling his eyes out, That some people didn't always end up with their soulmates but she also said that there was no pain compared to being away from your soulmate after they are found. Simon's mom looked sad, probably thinking of Simon's dad who had passed away when he was much too little to remember him clearly. She told him her heart hurt every day but that he and Rebecca kept her going because their bond was stronger than any soulmate mark. 

 

The years went by and Simon was still inexplicably in love with Clary even though he never pushed his feelings and always hoped that one day she would look back and see what was always in front of her. That's also why He let her off so easy when she decided to do the Turn him into a blood-sucking monster debacle, he was sure that after almost losing him that she realised “I was always in love with my best friend and only realised after he almost died “ train would be coming along anytime soon. After everything they had been through it was hard to think of someone who could make him feel like Clary did. Until he met Raphael, He made him feel things alright most of the time frustration and anger; There was this certain softness in his gaze when he looked at his clan or when Simon said something particularly stupid or nerdy. However, those gazes passed very quickly before he was back to his stone-cold self, pretending he didn’t give anyone else second-thought. 

 

The first night in Hotel Dumort would probably have been the worst night of Simon’s newly internal life if it weren’t for Raphael, He tried to make everything so much easier for the fledgling. As soon as Simon had been taken to his new room he noticed the shiny new Playstation already hooked up to the Tv and a whole row filled with games. There was a guitar on top of his bed, he could have cried right that moment if the act of it wasn’t so gross. Simon found that as the days passed the hotel felt more and more like home, the clan liked to dote on him since he was the new baby. Everyone was very welcoming. 

 

“Baby, where are you creeping off to?” Lilly’s strong but soft voice broke Simon’s concentration

 

“I’m going to go see Clary for dinner” 

 

“You don’t eat Simon.” 

 

“I know that! I’m just going to keep her company.” Simon smiled warmly hoping his puppy eyes would do all the work. 

 

“Fine. but you should inform Raphael you’re leaving the Hotel” 

 

“hum okay…I don’t really understand why but okay” Simon shrugged dramatically and sped walked to Raphael’s office where he found the vampire on his feet pacing around looking absolutely adorable. Wait. not that Simon thought of Raphael as adorable or anything. Raphael looked up in that moment cutting Simon off his train of thought. 

“What’s wrong Fledging. Are you okay? What do you want” Raphael smoke quickly as he approached Simon with worry in his eyes. 

 

“Hum nothing’s wrong, I'm fine, I was just thinking of popping out for dinner with Clary since I haven’t been able to seen her since you know the vampire thing” 

 

“Oh. You may see the Shadowhunter but be home one hour before sunrise. goodbye” With that Raphael turned his back to Simon and began shuffling papers. 

 

“Hum okay, I’ll do that. See you later. Yeah” Simon awkwardly closed the door and contemplated Raphael’s change in mood before he checked his phone and Clary had just texted him saying she was already on his way. He cursed and then remembered that supersonic running was now his speciality.

 

Raphael’s hand was stroking his chest right where the little grey (now full) circle laid as if on impulse after Simon had rushed off to see the Shadowhunter Raphael had been in a mood. He knew that some soulmates didn’t work out, that the love wasn’t always reciprocated; He never knew it would be this hard to ignore. The buzzing of the bond was always distracting him as if he didn’t touch Simon he would die. It was absolutely ridiculous since it was clearly obvious his feelings were not the same for the other Vampire. After all the years of accepting his soul mark was never going to be complete and then there comes in a clumsy little mundane with his obsessive babbling to steal his still heart.

Clenching his fists Raphael thought about the Fledgling and all the small things he did that just drove him insane. The incoherent chatter, the soft smile he made when he played the guitar for the clan, always serving as Raphael’s shoulder and punching bag when he had a particularly bad day.

Keeping his mind occupied to not worry about his soulmate running around with Shadowhunters who always managed to put him into dangerous situations. He buried himself into his work and tried(but failed) not to count the minutes. 

 

Clary had been awfully quite the walk to the diner, Simon was filling up the air with mindless conversation mostly about the hotel and the clan. 

 

“and Stan and Lily are being super helpful about my papers that are due in like two weeks, I’m really glad Raphael is letting me finish up my degree. Even if it’s mostly online with a few night classes. Everyone is trying to make this whole Vampire thing easier to settle down with.” Simon was Grinning remembering his clan and their loving support. 

 

“Seems you’re really getting along with everyone there… that’s nice” Said Clary quietly while looking down at her feet. 

 

“What’s wrong Clary? you know you can tell me anything” 

 

“It’s just…I feel like I’m losing everyone I love all at the same time, You’re doing good with the vamps, not to get me wrong I’m really happy for you but I wish we could have more time together is all especially with Jace icing me out” Clary looked immediately gloomier with Jace’s name being mentioned. 

 

After realising her mark was completed as soon as she met the Shadowhunter gang, she had her hopes that Jace would be the one to share her mark. But with the Valentine situation and that they were related kind of was messing with everything in Clary’s life. 

 

“Oh Clary I’m so sorry, let’s make a deal then, every week we have to have see each other at least twice. no excuses, no school or crazy missions. Okay? I promise you that I will always make time for you even with the clan breathing down my neck” 

 

Clary’s mood lightens and she nodded her head to Simon’s request, smiling a little. They arrived at the diner and talked for hours until Simon realised the time and walked Clary to the institute and crazy-fast ran to the Hotel. He didn’t want to miss his curfew especially since Raphael had seemed to be in such a sour mood after he mentioned that he was going to be leaving the hotel. Simon knew that if he ever wanted the clan leader to look at him with anything but that disdained look he would have to at least try to do what the leader asked. 

 

Simon spent days looking at his chest, the perfect little circle that was now formed on it was absolutely mesmerising. With all the hecticness that was the week of his kidnap-turned-vampire-moment, he must of have overlooked his mark completing itself. Now he was afraid his soulmate could be anyone he had come into contact throughout that time period.If Simon was being honest with himself he really only wished his soulmate was a certain sour-faced vampire that just happened to be his clan leader. 

 

He pushed open the doors of the Dumort and walked to Raphael’s office in an almost routine way. He didn’t even knock just walked right in to find Raphael asleep on the desk. Probably exhausted himself with too much work, Simon just couldn’t help the feeling swelling up his nonbeating heart. He sighed fondly and picked Raphael up from his shoulders and carried him bridal style to his room. On the way, Raphael snuggled closer to his chest touching it a little. Simon felt something inside of him stir. Unlike anything he ever felt before like all the pieces of his life had spread around and arranged themselves firmly all over again. He almost felt like he was seeing the world with different eyes. He was just outside of Raphael’s room so he managed to brush off his shirt a little to catch a glimpse of his soul mark. Not knowing what to expect he found a perfect little circle like the other days but now it was a beautiful orange. almost the colour of a sunset. If Simon still had the ability to breath he would have lost his breath at the sight of it. He opened Raphael’s room door, shaking ever so slightly and placed Raphael on his bed. He turned around ready to go to his room and try to make sense of everything that had just been unravelled to him when he left a light hand on his wrist pulling him back. Raphael barely opened his eyes 

 

“hm… Stay. Please” 

 

That was all Simon needed before he was climbing into bed with Raphael and cradling him in his arms as if it were the most natural thing to do.Simon was almost certain that he would have trouble sleeping with all the things going through his brain but as soon as he felt strong hands wrapping themselves around his arms he fell into an undisturbed sleep.

 

Upon waking Simon Lewis took note of two things, He was no longer wrapped around the man of his dreams and that he was being stared at. Simon looked up to find Raphael’s eyes trained on him, his hair tousled messily from sleep and no gel. He couldn’t help but let a small smile escape him as he looked upon his soulmate. 

 

“what are you doing here fledgling?” 

 

“You kind of pulled me in when I brought you here last night” Simon’s smile grew as he remembered the night's events. “I kind of found something out but I would rather you uhm help me with it as well” 

 

“Que Esta passado, bebé?”

 

“Take your shirt off,” The younger vampire said as he also proceeded to remove him shirt

 

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING SIMON!?” 

 

“Trust me, I swear it’s important” 

 

Raphael looked warily at him and then did as he was asked. He couldn’t help but look at the beautiful boy in front of him and his naked chest was too distracting not to look at. Then Raphael noticed a little orange circle that looked too familiar. He gasped and looked down at his own same mark. finding it also being coloured orange. Simon’s face was one of complete and utter happiness and love all mixed in one pot. Raphael couldn’t form sentences so he just lurched forward at the boy in front of him and kissed him. 

 

Their lips fit so perfectly it could only have been a dream, there was a clumsy start but they seemed to know exactly what the other was going to do. Simon licked Raphael’s bottom lip, and was soon met with a wonderful notion fighting with Raphael with his tongue was so much better than any other thing ever. 

 

The pulled away for unneeded breaths, with their foreheads pressed together. 

 

“I’m so glad it’s you. I was already so head over heels before knowing and now this is just the cherry on top of the cake honestly” Simon breathed out

 

Raphael smiled despite himself and said nothing just basked in the love that was Simon Lewis.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. Hope you're having a good day or night or whatever :D 
> 
> my tumblr is: Malecxdreams if you would like to follow it. (message me if you do! so we can be friends)


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